Nick the Foodie

Nick gives us more insight on his dating life, and what a lady should do to snag him.

on May 9, 20110

Ladies, be mean to me.

I know it may seem counter-intuitive but trust me, ultimately, it's for the best.

I say this not out of any sort of wish-fulfillment sado-masochistic fantasy, though that would be nice and convenient given the history of my love life and its abuse.

Rather, I say this for clarity's sake. I'm like a puppy; kick me and I'll run away sadly, but pet me and I'll try to follow you home.

In high school, I longed after the same girl for years, the nicest girl in my grade -- though that wasn't much of a contest, at the school I went to. As I've mentioned before, in high school I was misanthropic, slouched over, and anti-social bordering on hostile, after the Pavlovian training of middle school instilled into me that none of these people were my friends.

This girl just had a "serial niceness" to her. None of these things could keep her away from talking to me, from seeming to show some genuine interest beyond the simple "How's the freak?" passes I'd get from my classmates. She'd even sometimes invite me to things on the weekends. No one did that. And in me, beyond all that self-loathing, it touched that part of me, that part of every errant high schooler, that still holds out and believes they can be loved, that morsel of self-respect, preserved.

45 comments
vimax
vimax

Have you noticed the news has changed its approach lately? What used to neve be brought up or discussed has changed. It is that time to chagnge our stance on this though. C1R14N Vimax Vimax vimax vimax vimax vimax vimax vimax

Issie
Issie

Nick,

You seem soooo cool.... I want to hang out and play wow with you

Kim from ny
Kim from ny

Nick I want to marry you!!!! You are the cutest ever!!!!

Mrs.Reed
Mrs.Reed

Loved your blog! Keep writing!!! your great at it!

nyc babe
nyc babe

Hey Nick. I totally understand how you felt. I know many people go through the same- similar situations that you do and people have to overcome their shell and learn their experience and move on to something better. I realize even i had something similar like yours.

Bravofan143
Bravofan143

Nick stay true to who you are, have confidence in who you are and believe in yourself. The right girl will appreciate and you will stumble upon her when you least expect it! The best is yet to come.. Good luck on the show. Bethenny will introduce you to lots of prospects. You will be the one they pine over!

Lorena.
Lorena.

Nick...you rock ! Keep on looking.

Caitlyn Fransen, Montana
Caitlyn Fransen, Montana

Nick,

I won't be surprised when you find your lady very soon. You only get the love you think you deserve, and I hope you know that you deserve someone awesome! If only you were in Montana, I would totally go have a drink with you!

P.S. You are an epic writer!

Cate from Chicago
Cate from Chicago

Nick, Nice guys may finish last, but they finish truer, stronger, and happier than the cocky, self-absorbed guys that, unfortunately, young women fall for before they are mature enough to know better. Real love is worth the wait, just ask Bethenney. In the meantime relish the fact that thousand of women who watch you on the show see how great you are.

Viewer from DC
Viewer from DC

I love your honesty. And the good thing is, nice guys don't always finish last. That's so sophomoric. I can't wait until a great girl -- who matches you in intelligience and wit -- comes along and sweeps you off your feet.

You are so damn cool :-)

Walt's Wife
Walt's Wife

Nick, You are talented and adorable!

baby girl
baby girl

NICK..Ur so freaking awesome..I was soooo happy to see that Bethany kept in touch with U..then later hired U as part of her team ...I know she knew she had made a mistake by not choosing U..at first ...now she probably knows perhaps that wasn't meant to be at the time..seeing how U found U place..Ur voice so 2 speak..I love reading Ur blogs ...stories..I can actually visualize wht U write..lol..Ur honest..sincere and a true gentleman..I hope that the attention U R getting will not change U in any way..that special women who is fortunate enough to win Ur heart will be truly blessed..just to fall for some round the way skank..who just wants 2 ride Ur coat tails..4 give my bad writing..I'm not fortunate it enough to have Ur skills...Ur awesome..Bravo should make t-shirts ..of U for Ur fans..stay gold NICK..we need more people like U in this world..

hulali
hulali

OMG Nick! Haven't you heard? GEEKS are sooooo Sexy!!

Kathy S
Kathy S

Nick, I think you are great! I thought you were great when you met with Betheny the first time. I had wondered about you. I'm so glad that she caught back up with you. Please keep your head up when you are talking to EVERYONE. Nobody is better than you. You are very intelligent. You know your food. I look forward to seeing you next season.

Cyn34
Cyn34

I'm just like you. I seem to always be attracted to the jerks and push the nice guy away. I guess when I was young I felt that my options were endless. Now I'm almost 35 and for a minute I felt like I just want anybody. Didn't matter if they were mean or nice. I was miserable and did some soul searching. I rather be alone and available than unsatisfied with the wrong person. I have taken the IT'S TO LATE FOR ME attitude out of my life equation. So you need to take out the I'm not good enough thing. You need to be good enough only for you and the rest will follow. For now enjoy yourself and your friends and thanks for the blog :-)

Gayle D.
Gayle D.

Nick, you are a doll and I hope that you're on the show more next year. Bethenny probably regrets not hiring you to be her assistant the first go-round. I read your food blog and love it. You hang in there, guy...the right girl will come along and you'll know it. You are a real person not somebody trying to be something you aren't.

GRITS GIRL
GRITS GIRL

Nick, You are so honest, funny, caring and wonderful! Keep your head up and look people in the eyes when talking to them. I am so glad you are now on Bethenny's show. More than the narcistic, "give me your number and a condom" jerk she had before! She will help you overcome your self esteem issues, trust me! Even if she has to put you with her "talk doctor". :)

Don't ever change, Nick! You are awesome. Girls Raised In The South would not treat you mean......come on down......:)

TrishTX
TrishTX

Nick, I married someone very much like you and we are blissfully happy. Please hold out for someone genuine and don't get lured into bad relationships with someone who is only attracted to your fame.

Calivin
Calivin

Nick,I really like your addition to the show. I liked you when you interviewed the first time. I love the way you write and am appreciative of how humble and a little insecure you are. You bring out what we all need a little dose to make us better people.

Kica
Kica

Nick you are the best! You add a completely different dimension to the show (in a good way). I always enjoying the scenes with you in it.

Canny
Canny

Nick, you're completely an endearing person, truly genuine and absolutely lovable. I do believe things fall into place when people make a decision to love themselves and allow goodness into their lives. I spent many years in young 20's falling for every guy that I dated. Every time I was left empty, as the light of dawn can be very cruel. It wasn't until I stopped letting other people determine my self esteem that I found true love, happiness and acceptance and some who loved the me I loved! It will find you.

Captains2012
Captains2012

This was so sad and poignant. Listen to Bethenny. She gives good advise. Follow her lead{ watch how she was treated on The Real Housewives OF NY. Bethenny was really mistreated by the pretenders. She persevered and triumphed with real class. Now for you, after being on her show watch out. Fame is honey for the bees. So instead of being a kicked puppy you will be stung. Pick smart.

JanetPac
JanetPac

Being on Bethenny Ever After is going to open up doors for you that you never imagined. You are so intelligent, witty and intellectual and you are now very recognizable on those NY streets. Some lucky girl is going to snatch you up. Good luck with everything. Maybe you need your own dating show!

Marti Sullivan
Marti Sullivan

I think I might have been that girl to a couple of guys...ugh. Nick, you're precious. I believe in you, and think you're a pretty special fellow. ;)

KymmieNY
KymmieNY

You will see NIck, the older you get, the more women appreciate someone they can talk to as opposed to "the gorgeous jock". Your future is bright, my friend!

bravo fan in pa
bravo fan in pa

NICK, I HOPE NOTHING ABOUT YOU CHANGES! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU NEXT SEASON. LOVE AWAITS SOME LUCKY GAL...IT JUST TAKES TIME, PATIENCE AND THE RIGHT SETTING! LOOK AT JASON AND BETHENNY. OFTEN TIMES, IT'S WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. YOU'RE A KEEPER!!!!!! ENJOY YOUR TIME OFF!

RonnieD40
RonnieD40

You are simply wonderful. Please don't ever change.

Malin
Malin

I love your writing! so much talent.

AmyAnthony
AmyAnthony

You are simply adorable!! Sooo well written and very clearly introspective. Bethenny is luck to have you on her staff, and I'm so happy to see she recognize true talent.

MOM 57
MOM 57

Hi Nick, Congrats! You will find an awesome girl when you least expect it. My daughter is dating a young man who wants to be a writer/editor and just landed on blogging job. What advice would you give another writer? Keep writing! The best to you!

nycgirlly
nycgirlly

You are amazing! I would be proud to have you in my life! The woman who appreciates this deeply emotional, intuitive, articulate and loving man is out there trust me!! I too fell deeply in love with a man who captured my attention by his words and then enraptured me with just him being him. Funny we are total opposites, me - I'm in the Fashion world and he could not be further from it in his profession. I totally get him and love him for all his - what he perceives as "oddness" but I don't. The two of you could be brothers! Just when it does happen - believe it - believe in it - and hold on don't ever let go of that gift! xoxox

nycgirlly
nycgirlly

You are amazing! I would be proud to have you in my life! The woman who appreciates this deeply emotional, intuitive, articulate and loving man is out there trust me!! I too fell deeply in love with a man who captured my attention by his words and then enraptured me with just him being him. Funny we are total opposites, me - I'm in the Fashion world and he could not be further from it in his profession. I totally get him and love him for all his - what he perceives as "oddness" but I don't. The two of you could be brothers! Just when it does happen - believe it - believe in it - and hold on don't ever let go of that gift! xoxox

katecj
katecj

Nick, You are definitely a great writer. I look for your movies to be just as fantastic. I am sure success will come to you the way it came to Bethanny and I wish you much success in your endeavors.

WindyCityWondering
WindyCityWondering

Nick - your life is your own to create - don't be a puppy, don't be a clam in a shell - once you let yourself be yourself you will find that is what will draw other people into your orbit.

DebbieinKS
DebbieinKS

Nick, Nick, Nick, you really need to lighten up!! Forget about dating and just work on your film work, writing, and comedy. Romance will come not when you want it but when you least expect it. You really are making this much harder on yourself than you need to. Just relax and enjoy where you are in life. Work on you. Maybe start working out, lose a little weight and you will feel better about yourself. All this self loathing isn't really getting you anywhere but miserable.

Reviewernyc
Reviewernyc

Wow, Nick. I can so relate. I am the puppy dog girl....yearning for the same man for years. After kicking me numerous times... he stopped, picked me up and scratched behind my ears. Was it worth it in the end? No, it wasn't. We are still together 10 years later and although he is everything I dreamed he would be... I was 27 at the time and really had no idea who the ideal mate for me would be. Since he was so hard to catch, I focused on the chase and forgot about me. Now, here I am, 37; in a relationship, but I am alone. He is a good man, a great man, but not the one for me. But this puppy only knows how to find her way home to him.... and everyday I tread those steps, wishing I had turned around 10 years ago and found someone to walk beside me, instead of heading out on the chase. So my advice if I can be so bold Nick, is to find the person that walks by your side. Trailing behind like a pup, constantly trying to catch up is exhausting. On the rare occassion the person slows down to let you keep pace, it instinctively ends... and you are left waiting for the next time... Its not a good way to live, its sad and lonely.

Casual observation
Casual observation

Nick, my heart wrenches for you. You don't need to have people kick you like a puppy! You're a sweet person who has a lot of life and love to give. What you may want to consider is being the first one to talk to that quiet young lady sitting in the corner. Take control of your destiny and let Bethenny help you.... What you'll find is that the girl sitting in the corner, who no one is talking to, is longing for someone to talk to her too. She has secret feelings, hopes, thoughts, desires, etc, but is too shy or awkward to step out of her shell to approach you. Or maybe she's been treated cruelly in middle/high school too and is just terribly insecure. Either way, I get the impression that you're so shy that you're not noticing anyone who hasn't approached you first.

Think about it...

LisaM-Centereach
LisaM-Centereach

Nick;

You are a DOLL. The right girl will come along, when the time is right. You have a great personality, you ARE a nice looking young man, intelligent and respectful.

You will find what you are looking for. Do NOT let some girl hook up with you for $$$ or because you are now on the show. Things will fall into place and I think Jason would be more than happy to give you advice and hang with you.

tankjuice
tankjuice

My son is a middle schooler in the throws of "hormone hell". I am going to have him read this post. All young men feel much the way you do and it is so touching how you are willing to wear your heart on your sleeve for the world to see. It belies a confidence you do have behind the screen of a computer. Keep the faith Nick: she's out there somewhere. And one lucky girl she will be....

NanCeE*
NanCeE*

You're adorable and I admire your honesty. The phrase "the truth will set you free" is true. One friendly correction: on page two of the blog, first paragraph, you wrote "should of" instead of "should have". A minor mistake probably made in haste, but if you're anything like me you'll want to get that fixed. Best of luck to you. Keep it honest and keep moving forward.

hsn
hsn

Nick, your future is so bright, we are all going to need some sunglasses if we want to keep up with you!!! Phenomenal blog, and wow, you are a master of the english language. God bless.

chelb
chelb

You are a wonderful writer and have such a kind heart!! Chin up! Your princess just hasn't needed to be rescued yet!!