When I decided to join the cast I knew that it meant that I had to expose some very dark personal issues that I struggle with. One is that I have the propensity to completely block out hurtful things from of my mind as a coping mechanism. When my OB/GYN first discovered a lump in my breast during my annual exam, she directed me to get a mammogram. That’s when things turned for the worst. I did as she advised but my experience was so unpleasant that I never told any one or ever called back for the results. No woman wants to be told they could possibly have cancer. I thought the worst and took inventory of my life. Did I have my personal affairs in order? What if I couldn’t be treated? Would I have to undergo chemotherapy? Have a mastectomy? Lose all my hair? All these questions flooded my mind. The fact was and is I could possibly die from cancer.
I lost both of my grandfathers to aggressive cancers, and two very young friends under the age of 30 (Keith and Michelle may you rest in peace) whom I was very close to. I watched them all fight for their lives and dwindle down to mere skin and bones. I would never wish cancer on my worst enemy. No one deserves to suffer or die that way.